I'm impressed with how this group addresses difficult relatives.. My mom is a difficult, high-maintainance person. She doesn't consciously manipulate, but she's used to getting her way. I love her, and me and sisters are courteous and friendly toward her, but we've realize she is a child. (A good literary picture of my parents is Mr. And Mrs. Bennett. My dad is cynical and lazy--but funny, and a good father--my mom is a silly woman whose idea of "best" for her kids is--at best--completely misguided.) She was dealt a tough hand as a teen and I'm pretty sure she never got proper counseling for it.
So, sometimes she speaks for me when others are around, and often the info is not quite 100% true. Usually I just let it go--who cares if she says I prefer a when really I prefer b.
On Christmas at my parents a cousin I hadn't seen in a while asked about my kids' names and if S3 was named for our grandpa (dad's dad). Mom, not in the conversation, says " oh, he was named for [my husband's grandpa with the same name]" I said, no, he was named for both, but primarily my grandpa. background:
-longstanding despising by my mom of her FIL. He was an alpha ("domineering" in her words) and they had similar personalities.
-before son was born my mom and I had a HUGE fight about our name choices. Our first son shares my FILs name, she wanted the next to be after my dad. We don't care for his formal name, and his nickname is very unique to him. So we decided to name him after his dad, with whom he was very close. And bonus, my dh's grandpa, who was still alive at the time, shared the same name. (Btw, we don't tell her our name choices anymore. She finds out when the baby arrives)
--dh prefers using full names. My mom immediately--like in the hospital--started calling son the diminutive my grandpa did NOT go by. Hilariously, his younger sister calls him that now (the nickname my grandpa did go by) I don't know where D2 picked it up
So I could not let this misinformation she was feeding my cousin go uncorrected. However, I was not interested in having an argument in front of everyone about it, while the kids opened presents. Thoughts?
Btw, dh is awesome with his MIL. I've never met anyone who can handle her so well, a mixture of amusement and indifference that completely disarms her and makes her giggly/nervous. She adores him, much to the amazement of my sisters' beaus