All men are great men, most fail to see the greatness in themselves.
Power, Passion, Principle and Purpose: The Wild Man Project
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I have noticed a lot of the FOs on the forum getting bummed out lately about how their husbands don't feel like they can confide, because confiding in one's wife without the proper frame is just so damaging to attraction, as we discussed in the “How much can we share with our wives?” thread. This really hit me when I saw @RedPillWifey's pained response to @mook_z's thread “need something emotional/intellectual”, and in some of the comments along that thread.
First off, I want to say that I don't believe that there are unresolvable contradictions anywhere in the Universe. If I see a conflict and cannot resolve it, it is because I have not yet thoroughly understood it. There is a way to make all human Knowledge and Wisdom fit together, if you are willing to bend your worldview, and the ideas enough.
And so I wanted to say that the feeling that sometimes pervades this forum so well captured by mook_z in these words:
This feels too shallow. I love my wife, but I need more than a house-keeper who I can fuck, but I can't get too emotional or else the alpha tanks & then I don't even have the "who I can fuck" part. Where does the balance lie between serious emotional connection & fucking partner?
Is there because we haven't dug deeply enough yet.
Our wives are still so much more to us than this, even when we can't go to them for the emotional support. You can see it if you change your perspective a bit.
This is a relationship that goes way beyond a maid we can fuck or a womb to give us sons and daughters. A wife is our anchor to place, a fire to motivate us, and a keeper of the things that keep us sane.
That is a relationship that needs a special honouring, and a special way of being... it has its own adab, it's own rules and attitudes which must be observed. It is not a bad thing that we cannot share our everyday worries with out wife, except when we frame them as a victory: it is an indicator to remind us that marriage is to sacred to sully with doubt and fear and petty complaints.
On some levels this is a powerful motivator. If we want to be able to take our wives into our confidence, and have the most rewarding bond with them, we have to become the kind of men who instantly turn fear into a plan, and struggle into conquest. We have to be the Alpha men who can never say I am scared, without immediately afterwards saying “but I am doing it anyway.”
How can this possibly be the sad state of affairs it seems at first blush?