This is the CORE of what flat pisses me off about my wife: SEX is ALWAYS last on the Fing list. Once EVERYTHING else she wants to do is done, THEN maybe she'll consider sex.
So she wakes me up this morning to let me know she's leaving for work with a "the we-vibe is fully charged" and the about to have sex kiss rather than the traditional "love you, see you later peck".
On the way home she's talking about how exhausting work was, how she's flat beat, and that she's just going to come home and workout, eat, and go to bed. I say something to the effect of "gotcha, you had "one of those days" that's not so conducive to draining we-vibe batteries?" And got slammed with the "all you ever talk about or think about is SEX! Its overwhelming, can't you hear me saying I'm tired?" (i didn't approach her for sex nor discuss it at all yesterday - made that a point since I got the overwhelmed conversation earlier.
I asked a simple yes no question, and either answer would have been fine, but she feels "pressured", and would like for me to lay off, and let her let me know when she's in the mood, but before coming home and before exerting herself on her workout she's already decided she's too tired for sex. I let loose the "that's what we've been doing for the past few years, and we know how much sex we have when we do that, I'm a PROFESSIONAL at not coming on to you". This was an error simply because we'd agreed that we were finding a fresh start, and weren't going to bring up the past. I did apologize for going back into the past when we agreed we hadn't and told her that I should have just expressed my fear of being painted into a corner waiting for her to be in the mood.
HOW THE HELL DO I MOVE SEX TO THE FRONT OF HER 'want to get done today' list? Why is IT the expendable item? It was on her list this morning.
The answer to "how could you have energy to work out but not the energy to fool around?" was "I need to workout for my back, its really tight".
Am I being a jerk? Or is the the fitness test I'm just unable to overcome?
Feel like we took four steps forward, but now I'm right back at where I started. I DO NOT FEEL WANTED BY HER. Because the first thing on my list is the last thing on hers.
Most women unwittingly ruin the sex as a reward by being so shitty in bed during the sex, that it becomes a form of punishment rather than a reward. - Athol Kay.