So this got into a pretty extensive O/T tangent in the "FO's: What I Wish My Husband Knew About What I Want in the Bedroom" thread and I thought it deserved it's own topic.
Let's talk about what I will broadly call "mate guarding." Not in the physical sense-- obviously an Alpha male responds to a clear and present physical danger to his mate or offspring with immediate and decisive action-- but in the sense of "guarding" one's mate from encroachment by competing males.
There was some discussion in the previous thread at too much length to quote directly here, but the question was raised whether and to what extent this behavior is desirable. There was one camp which believed that it's a natural behavior and attractive in moderation, and that letting your wife believe that you won't do anything about it when other men attempt to win her from you is a display of weakness likely to be interpreted as being afraid of conflict and/or giving her "permission" to cheat. There was another camp which believed that dismissively treating other men as not a threat to be a display of Alpha confidence.
presented the idea that if one is sufficiently Alpha, one's wife will take care of these "threats" on her own, without requiring interference from you.
I chimed in with the thought that, like so much else, a woman's interpretation of these behaviors will be colored by her attraction to you. If she is, mate guarding will be viewed as both an Alpha show of strength and a good-Beta proof of your investment in your relationship. If she is not, it will be viewed as weak and controlling.
I'll quote @sf64
's last post in its entirety so I can respond to it:
I agree that a situation where you are so Alpha and high in Sex Rank that no other man could possibly be a threat (thus making mate guarding unnecessary) is the ideal. In practice, though, no one man is ever going to be the clear AMOG in every situation. So the question remains: on our way to that ideal, when we DO find ourselves in a situation where mate guarding seems necessary, what is the best approach to take?
My point is that "I" isn't interested in going off with someone else because I am the AMOG. I'm not saying that if some super-alpha showed up that was clearly more alpha than me, that hypergamy wouldn't kick in. My challenge is to be the AMOG in the room.As long as I am in the very top tier in the environment.... all is safe and stable. If in the context of the room, I am a 7 and a 10 shows up.... it becomes a different game.
Our challenge, as I see it, when running the MAP is to become the very best man we can, which by the nature of driving our SR higher, cock blocks challengers. And yes, your wife / GF needs to know that you have options and that those options are equal or better to her.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.