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The myths of foreign wives
SMan
Posts: 1,097Silver Member
This post is an off-topic spinoff from The Edge's recent relationship triage & update.
He mentioned something that I think needs to be addressed, and maybe would turn into a whole thread, but one that would be off-topic for his relationship thread.
Everybody's seen ads for those websites that offer to hook western beta-schlub males up with supposedly submissive, uncorrupted Russian, or Ukrainian, or Thai, wives. There's also a manosphere theme floating around that western feminism has corrupted women in western societies, as mentioned by The Edge, but there are societies where you can still get an old-school bride:
Here's what any guy who thinks he'll get an "ideal wife" in Asia should know:
1) Many of them have been corrupted by western society. They've been to Europe & N, America, have relatives in Europe or N. America, or follow western media publications- and are just as westernized in their minds as a western girls.
2) Many of them have been corrupted by Asian Society! Chinese people, for example, have just as strong a Madonna/Whore culture as America, and Chinese mothers teach their daughters that pussy is a commodity to be traded for material things, and a tool for controlling men, even more than American mothers.
3) There is no such thing as an "Asian Woman," just women from very different cultures that are located in Asia.
There are huge differences between the sexual cultures of different Asian countries. Just like no one would ever claim that a German is like an Italian in Europe, for example, Japanese, Chinese, Korean and Philippino people have differences that are just as radical.
China, for example, is just as puritanical and sex-as-commodity oriented as the United States. Japan is one of the most sex-positive cultures in the world, and also one that values fulfiling one's duty, but be aware that while Japanese girls like to please their men, they are brought up to dissociate marriage from romantic love and from sex. Many Japanese couples maintain marriages where they fulfil their economic and child raising duties together, but meet their emotional and/or sexual requirements elsewhere. Also, be forewarned that if you have a kid with a Japanese woman you need to prepare yourself to experience the fine Japanese kids' art of kancho (LOL, even if you live abroad, their cousins and aunts teach it to them.)
India would take a whole book to explain, but basically you're marrying an Indian woman's whole family, including her infamous "aunties" and they have no compunction about getting vocal, and even meddling in your relationship.
The basic message: if you're not a man any woman would want- if you're a beta rather than an Alpha- going overseas isn't going to solve your problem.
There are good women everywhere in the world.
and every place in the world has women who are not good to be around.
Every place has women with different personalities, different interests, different intelligence.
When you find one who's your ideal mate, make sure you're the kind of man who can handle any woman, make sure your SMV is high, and you'll be able to have and hold the good one you find, no matter which country she comes from.
Not meeting your own challenges and thinking you'll find an "easy" woman somewhere abroad is a fallacy. Do that, and all you'll end up with is a frustrated foreign woman, instead of one from your own country.
And MMSL single, or soon-to-be-single guys: keep up with that MAPing no matter where you live or travel. Work on you, and focus on meeting women and screening them for your choice qualities wherever you live or travel. There will be different challenges and opportunities with women in every part of the world, but Alpha overrules them all.
. . . and women. There's the question of men from overseas. That's a whole can of worms by itself. I've never been anywhere in the world where I would say women have poisoned attitudes, in spite of themyths floating around, but I must say, I've been to some places in the world that make me glad I'm not a woman trying to find a good man . . .
He mentioned something that I think needs to be addressed, and maybe would turn into a whole thread, but one that would be off-topic for his relationship thread.
Everybody's seen ads for those websites that offer to hook western beta-schlub males up with supposedly submissive, uncorrupted Russian, or Ukrainian, or Thai, wives. There's also a manosphere theme floating around that western feminism has corrupted women in western societies, as mentioned by The Edge, but there are societies where you can still get an old-school bride:
Concerning Asian women: men should lose the idea that Asian women are "uncorrupted by Western Society"@Edge said:Manosphere Heroes = Women Uncorrupted by Western Society (especially Asians)
Here's what any guy who thinks he'll get an "ideal wife" in Asia should know:
1) Many of them have been corrupted by western society. They've been to Europe & N, America, have relatives in Europe or N. America, or follow western media publications- and are just as westernized in their minds as a western girls.
2) Many of them have been corrupted by Asian Society! Chinese people, for example, have just as strong a Madonna/Whore culture as America, and Chinese mothers teach their daughters that pussy is a commodity to be traded for material things, and a tool for controlling men, even more than American mothers.
3) There is no such thing as an "Asian Woman," just women from very different cultures that are located in Asia.
There are huge differences between the sexual cultures of different Asian countries. Just like no one would ever claim that a German is like an Italian in Europe, for example, Japanese, Chinese, Korean and Philippino people have differences that are just as radical.
China, for example, is just as puritanical and sex-as-commodity oriented as the United States. Japan is one of the most sex-positive cultures in the world, and also one that values fulfiling one's duty, but be aware that while Japanese girls like to please their men, they are brought up to dissociate marriage from romantic love and from sex. Many Japanese couples maintain marriages where they fulfil their economic and child raising duties together, but meet their emotional and/or sexual requirements elsewhere. Also, be forewarned that if you have a kid with a Japanese woman you need to prepare yourself to experience the fine Japanese kids' art of kancho (LOL, even if you live abroad, their cousins and aunts teach it to them.)
India would take a whole book to explain, but basically you're marrying an Indian woman's whole family, including her infamous "aunties" and they have no compunction about getting vocal, and even meddling in your relationship.
The basic message: if you're not a man any woman would want- if you're a beta rather than an Alpha- going overseas isn't going to solve your problem.
There are good women everywhere in the world.
and every place in the world has women who are not good to be around.
Every place has women with different personalities, different interests, different intelligence.
When you find one who's your ideal mate, make sure you're the kind of man who can handle any woman, make sure your SMV is high, and you'll be able to have and hold the good one you find, no matter which country she comes from.
Not meeting your own challenges and thinking you'll find an "easy" woman somewhere abroad is a fallacy. Do that, and all you'll end up with is a frustrated foreign woman, instead of one from your own country.
And MMSL single, or soon-to-be-single guys: keep up with that MAPing no matter where you live or travel. Work on you, and focus on meeting women and screening them for your choice qualities wherever you live or travel. There will be different challenges and opportunities with women in every part of the world, but Alpha overrules them all.
. . . and women. There's the question of men from overseas. That's a whole can of worms by itself. I've never been anywhere in the world where I would say women have poisoned attitudes, in spite of themyths floating around, but I must say, I've been to some places in the world that make me glad I'm not a woman trying to find a good man . . .
![[Deleted User]](http://w5.vanillicon.com/5d2ae14ff94d526891dfd018e43e8b38_50.png)
14 ·
Comments
"There are no right biscuits." – Mandrill
Note - If you a FO with a Lazy Bear or Low-T husband, ignore everything I say. It probably doesn't apply
"As he works on his MAP, he's going to do things that piss you off. He has to." - Steu2817
"In a world of Alpha's there is no peace for anyone.....welcome to Somalia enjoy your stay" - Highlander2
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy, if not, you'll become a philosopher." -Socrates
I know an uberalpha retired Special Forces guy who gave up on american women because he couldn't find one that wasn't too materialistic for him. He is happier than hell living in Thailand with his Thai wife, running a business he established over there. He touts the benefits of having a wife from SEA. He is a stud in his own right, however.
As good as he says he has it, he believes that things would change very quickly if he moved back to the US with her.
In my dating struggles over the last couple of years, I have to say that the "better" relationships I've had have been with Asian women, but every one of them was born overseas and came here as an adult, so retain most of the same values of their home country.
I don't deliberately seek out Asian women, I'll date an attractive woman no matter her race or culture. I'm adaptable and I also find it interesting and challenging to absorb the culture while not losing my self.
Among the challenges I have found are that in many cases, even if well educated at home, they're under-employed here. Language being a limiting factor.
As well, due to the family focus, they all want to "put a ring on it" sooner than later. Even though I'm up front about my not marrying again, they will give it a shot.
AFA sex, while eager to please, they are not particularly adventurous, though blow-jobs are pretty much a given. Otherwise, sex was vanilla. PDA's are frowned upon. And while they hamster with the best of them afa as one night stands or sex early in the relationship, they will succumb to an alpha as quickly as any woman. A woman I've recently started dating told me that she didn't even kiss the last guy she dated until the 8th date. We had sex on the 3rd date. Later she said it was an "accident".
) I said "Yeah, your clothes accidentally fell off and you accidentally fell on my dick." She told me that I come across as more Chinese than caucasian, because I'm much more alpha than most of the blue-pill Westerner's she's encountered. She's also called me a chauvanist in 2 languages, but it doesn't seem to be hurting her attraction. 
Another told me that there would be no sex until a month into a relationship, and an hour later was giving me a BJ.
I do have to say that I haven't encountered the materialism of Western women. Sure, they like nice clothes, cars, etc. but are genuinely appreciative of gifts. I made the mistake of giving one a pair of earrings worth several hundred dollars for Christmas. She was aghast because, while she liked them, they were too ostentatious for someone who could by groceries for several months for her family with that money. We took them back and bought her a much more practical gift.
They're also very service oriented, particularly around the little things, like wanting to cook for me or a pot of tea magically appearing right after dinner.
Are they all like this? I don't know. I've also seen their sisters be as materialistic as Paris Hilton, so maybe its as much an individual thing as a cultural thing.
So, from my perspective, the attentiveness is attractive, but the under-employment is a problem. I won't be someone's retirement plan. The affection is attractive, the sex regular but pretty vanilla. YMMV
"Treating her like a princess didn't make me a prince, it made me a servant."
Link to triage questions: http://marriedmansexlife.com/triage-your-relationship-and-the-911-er-category/
I'm well acquainted with women (and their men) from many East European countries.
Firstly: The Women
In the big cities there are 2 main types East European women, with very little middle ground.
1) The "fashion Plate" woman who watches her weight with an eagle eye, dresses immaculately and sexy, goes out wearing perfect makeup & perfect long hair- in short- they're some of the hottest women on the planet.
Below are some shots taken by a photographer around a shopping district in Moscow of random women. These are not shoots of models, they're women dressed up to go out shopping.
and just to show that a few women don't quite pull it off so well, here's this one (but look at the chicks in the background . . .
2) The other side of the coin is the overweight woman who dresses like a frump. She can be any age, from teen through senior.
There's less middle ground. ie., women who are not overweight, but not thin & shapely, who wear kind of casual, poorly ironed clothes.
Almost the opposite of N. America, where women mainly occupy the casual middle ground, with very few hot women, and lots of overweight ones.
A guy from Toronto summed it up when he said (referring to Croatia) "I've never seen so many hot women mingling with so many dorky looking guys" LOL
So, they look hot. And they come over to North America, and they keep their style, IME.
What are they like, though.
Both in Eastern Europe, and among the immigrants, my experience has been that they're hard as nails.
Anecdote: a Russian couple both emigrated to Canada and started into graduate school. After 2 years the young lady told her labmates her BF had been slacking too much and wasn't going to graduate on time- so she insta-Nexted him the next day.
To have and hold a hot east European woman, you have to be a high achiever yourself, and it also helps if you have the kind of Bad Boy Oligarch or Mafiya vibe too.
What these schlubs who go over to the Ukraine or Russia on "meet a wife" trips don't realize is- they've got it backwards. They think they're evaluating and qualifying a woman to be with them. Without realizing that these girls are actually evaluating and qualifying them.
And woe unto the schlub who is found wanting at the end of the qualification period . . .
Please don't get the idea that I'm down on Slavic women, or despise them.
On the contrary, I love them. They're smart, courageous, can be fierce in bed, loyal to their country, loyal to the Alpha man who's willing to reach the same SMV as them . . . and of course, they're hot!
I love them too. They keep you driven and sharp. Plus if you are high stimulation... Amazing! There is always something to keep you stimulated.
More broadly I've come to prefer foreign women. With the exception of the unsurprisingly already taken women on here, the foreign women I know seem to be generally a cut above the American women I've met.
We even have Dirndl clubbings ;-) AND the girl in the pic is a friend of mine.
If you want us to be unapologetically feminine, be unapologetically masculine.
Dammit! I thought I had finally gotten my first disagree in all of my time here!! LOL