Wife wants me to shave the beard.

hanielhaniel californiaPosts: 1,462Gold Men Zen Garden
edited October 2012 in Running the MAP
She's been asking for months now for me to shave my beard or at least my mustache saying it pricks her skin and hurts when we kiss. I keep treating it like a shit test and ignoring it, but I'm starting to feel worn down about it.

I grew the beard when I started mapping and everything was improving so I kinda of associate it with the new me. Any thoughts?

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Comments

  • ChimpyChimpy Posts: 2,591Member
    haniel said:
    She's been asking for months now for me to shave my beard or at least my mustache saying it pricks her skin and hurts when we kiss. I keep treating it like a shit test and ignoring it, but I'm starting to feel worn down about it.

    I grew the beard when I started mapping and everything was improving so I kinda of associate it with the new me. Any thoughts?
    Two.

    One its a fucking beard don't over think it.

    Tow tell her you will if she does...
    PhoenixDownAthenaAngelinex1134x
  • JoshJosh Posts: 294Member
    My wife is willing to kiss pretty much whenever I tell her.  She pulls away from stubble though.  I don't think it's a shittest as much as just uncomfortable and some women really don't like being pricked... by hair.
    d0cking
  • d0ckingd0cking Posts: 143Member
    I've ran into the same situation my entire marriage...  I change like the wind... I just like the change sometimes...  In my case, it is not a shit test... I can tell she is so much happier when I am clean shaven...  Not just when I first shave...  She is wanting to kiss me more without the hair...  I just piss her off when she remarks against it when I grow any of it... The more she complains, the longer I wear it.
    When everything seems to be at its worst.  Look for the silver lining!
  • excessexcess Posts: 372Member
    If you decide to shave it just get up one morning and do it. Don't make a big production out of it and don't do it directly in response to a request. If she thanks you or whatever just say, "I felt like it was time for a change but I'm glad you like it".
    Joshd0ckingPhoenixDownAngeline
  • JaneJane Posts: 1,013Member

    shave it.   it's a beard, it will grow back if it looks bad.

    If you said to your wife "I more enjoy giving your oral when you're clean shaven" and then she didn't bother shaving or waxing, dont you think you'd be within your rights not to want to go down on her?  She doesnt like pokey stubble (and I'm the same way, my entire face would be red and inflamed after making out when my hubs had a beard), so dont expect her to want to kiss you as much...

    Angeline
  • BrianCBrianC Oshawa, ONPosts: 2,567Senior Moderator*
    I will repeat and amplify what @excess said.  If you want to shave it, then do it when there is no pressure from her about it.  Wait until it has been awhile since the latest request.  Do not mention why you did it.  If she asks, make sure she hears that it was what you felt like doing, not because she asked you to.

    Even if it wasn't a shit test to begin with doing this Alpha-style will give her tingles.

    All men are great men, most fail to see the greatness in themselves.

    Power, Passion, Principle and Purpose: The Wild Man Project

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  • KarKar USAPosts: 683Silver Member
    Shave it. I don't think it's a shit test.
    LovelyLauren
  • FrizFriz FloridaPosts: 482Silver Member
    You can also try different lengths to see if she's more comfortable. My wife doesn't like my beard long. She says it tickles her. When it's too short it's like sand paper. I keep it trimmed with a #2 guard and she said that it doesn't bother her at that length.
    Monkeys_UncleAngeline
  • hanielhaniel californiaPosts: 1,462Gold Men Zen Garden
    Yeah, I use #2 once a week. It's really just the mustache she complains about, though. I don't think I would look good without it and just a beard though, not that I know anything about fashion. Damn it looks like the consensus is to shave, though. That sucks. Maybe I'll wait for a good opportunity when everything is going well and she hasn't mentioned it in a while. I still haven't decided for sure.

  • ChimpyChimpy Posts: 2,591Member
    haniel said:
    Yeah, I use #2 once a week. It's really just the mustache she complains about, though. I don't think I would look good without it and just a beard though,
    Wasn't the last bloke what looked good with a chinstrap Abraham Lincoln - and look what happened to him!
  • hanielhaniel californiaPosts: 1,462Gold Men Zen Garden
    Oh and last time she mentioned it I responded, "Listen here, Delilah..."

  • LovelyLaurenLovelyLauren Posts: 143Member
    Why is it a shit test when women want their guy to do something to their appearance for them, but if I want to keep my hair short, even if my husband hates it, I'm not doing it right. 

    I prefer my husband clean-shaven. It's not a shit test. I think he looks better and I like kissing him more. 

    Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. 
  • horsemanhorseman Posts: 1,212Member
    Summer is hot I shave. winter is cold beard. Hate scruff at work so this weekend growing it in. My face my beard.

    p.s. for the Yanks its our Thanksgiving this weekend hence I can grow it nefore going back tuesday. In November we have snow. Thanksgiving in November..jeez.
  • PhoenixDownPhoenixDown TejasPosts: 9,852Gold Women Zen Garden
    edited October 2012
    I can sympathize with your wife. I just straight up don't think beards are all that attractive. Moustaches either. 

    @mook_z does "Movember" every year, grows a mustache and accepts donations for cancer awareness. I deal with the look because it's for charity, but he needs to have that thing shaved come December 1st, dammit. Kissing is uncomfortable, and I don't like it :(

  • WendyWendy Posts: 1,281Gold Women Zen Garden
    Count me in the camp of no scratchy beard/mustache please.  Definitely not a shit test, simple personal preference, that's all.  Thumbs up on the advice from Excess and BrianC.
    Angeline
  • Life_In_HellLife_In_Hell Posts: 160Member
    edited October 2012
    I have had my same beard for about 17 years, Every now and then I will shave it and then immediately grow it back after a few days. The wife likes it though. 

    I always keep the beard trimmed rather close. Number 2 in the summer and #3 in the winter. The only time I ever get nagged about it is on the day that I trim it. The hair ends are rather sharp. After a few days, they soften.

    If you want to keep the beard, care for it like the rest of the hair on your head. Conditioner, combing, trimming. Don't let it get scruffy and out of control. A good beard should never look like hell. Remember to shave the cheek patches and your neck. Cut a sharp line under your jaw and shave the neck everyday, Beards that never stop and run straight into chest hair look like hell. Nose hair that grows too long and becomes part of the mustache look like hell. Beards that are missing patches look like hell. 

    Don't look like hell.

    And be honest. Look at your beard. Is it missing patches? Does it have a growth pattern that is bizarre and weird even when trimmed appropriately? Maybe you shouldn't grow a beard.

    Another thing to think about is what do all the complaints mean? It could simply mean that your beard is scratching the hell out of her face, or tickling her, or she prefers men clean shaven. It could also be that your beard looks like hell and she can't bring herself to tell you that it needs to be cleaned up and trimmed, so she tells you to get rid of it.

    Edited to add: But above all else, if the beard is truly uncomfortable for her, or she doesn't like even a well maintained beard, get rid of it. Pushing the issue isn't likely to change anything for her.
    Angeline
  • NotelracNotelrac Posts: 3,552Member
    My wife spends way more time looking at my ugly mug than I do.  After we got together, I tried a number of different styles.  She hated some, went "meh" with most, and said she really liked two.

    So I alternate between the two she says she likes.

     

    AngelineLovelyLauren
  • mook_zmook_z Posts: 864Gold Men
    Reasonable request in a reasonable tone. It's reasonable if she doesn't like being sandpapered in the mouth. It's unreasonable if it's a dominance thing. Only you know the difference. Personally, I don't think it's a shit test. Mustaches are logistically problematic for kissing.
    JoshLovelyLauren
  • hanielhaniel californiaPosts: 1,462Gold Men Zen Garden
    I shaved last night when she was at class. She was pretty amazed when she saw me. She did this step back with her hand on her mouth "oh my god." Said I look 10 years younger. Once she calmed down, I kissed her then said "Blowjob time." She started the no, we had sex last night, I'm tired from class. I picked her up, carried her to the bedroom and good times.

    Afterward she said it was way funner kissing now and she can't believe I look younger than before we were married. And she'll never look that young again. She asked me what made me shave and I just said the "felt like changing it up" line. She never brought up the fact that she had kinda been bugging me about it. And it just seemed like DHV'ing all around. Thanks, forum. I probably wouldn't have shaved if I didn't get the advice that it wasn't a fitness test from you all.

    PhoenixDownPurplehorseman
  • LouiseLouise EnglandPosts: 1,588Silver Member
    Well, I'm not fond of facial hair on men myself, I much prefer my husband clean shaven, but then he's never shown any inclination to grow a beard or moustache. I don't think I would be very keen on it if he wanted to do that. in my case it wouldn't be dominance, just not finding it very attractive. So I can understand other women not finding it appealing either.
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