(I should preface this by saying that, for the overwhelming majority of the time, my MAP has been going great. Both myself and my relationship are in a much better place than we were 3 months ago when I started MAPping.)
Here's my dilemma:
Earlier today, the gf announced by text that since I am not there on V-day this year we should celebrate it this early, this weekend. And she's expecting a present. Apparently her therapist suggested that we need to be more romantic, and as we don't normally do much for valentine's, we should make a big thing of it this year.
At first the exchange started off pretty lighthearted. Gf dropped hints about silver or chocolate presents. I dropped hints about more intimate "gifts" instead. She fought a bit for the cause of materialism, and I jokingly pointed out how unmaterialistic I am (and made more sex jokes). But she kept on about presents and eventually suggested that I was making her "feel judged for suggesting we try something fun and different". (I guess I don't like being told I'm expected to by expensive presents for someone, or else...).
Now, I am not a fan of Valentine's day (in my country its not celebrated particularly, although there has been a big retail push in recent years), and I dislike how commercialized it is here in the USA. In the past we haven't really done anything, except maybe gone out for a meal around that time.
So, I now have a number of issues that I'm grappling with:
- What do I get her? She just texted me to say she is "buying the components of my present now". I need to do something in response, however minor, but there are two problems. (1) I have virtually no free time in the next 24hrs to get her anything, and (2) I'm annoyed how she is putting me in this situation of demanding something at the last minute.
- Is this sort of a fitness test? If so, is it a shit test or a loyalty test? (I think my SR is starting to pull back level with hers, and I read in a number of threads on here that Phase 2 is often marked with tests to try and judge the social).
What do you guys think? I don't want to be a asshole about this and fail a loyalty test, but neither do I want to be a pushover and fail a shit test by buying her presents whenever she demands them.
Currently I think I should do something, but it should be silly and sort of over the top in a ridiculous kind of way. I read the previous Valentines threads on the forum suggesting cards that say:
I also have some of her favourite chocolates from my country that I was going to give her anyway. However, she knows I already have them and the pessimist in me forsees her getting stroppy. If she does get upset, what's the best way to handle this?
Or am I treating this whole thing completely wrong?